Sometimes we become so focused on everything we’ve been through that we forget to recognize how far we’ve come. We remember the failures, the disappointments, and the years we wish had been different. But sometimes we need someone to remind us that we’re still here.
Yesterday, I was talking with a friend who has experienced a great deal of hardship. As we talked about some of the difficult things life had brought their way, they said something that stayed with me: “I’m surprised I made it this far.”
I looked at them and said, “But you did make it. You are here and doing well.”
Their expression changed immediately.
I went on to share a little of my own story. I told them that I had been an alcoholic, that I had gone through bankruptcy, and that Valerie and I had spent years sleeping apart. There were seasons of my life when I couldn’t imagine how things would ever work out. Yet here I was, sitting with a friend, able to look back on those years instead of still living in them.
And then my friend smiled.
I don’t know exactly what that smile meant. Perhaps it was simply the realization that, despite everything, they really had made it. Perhaps hearing about my struggles helped them feel a little less alone. Whatever the reason, I was grateful for that moment.
As I’ve reflected on our conversation, I’ve thought about how often we measure our lives by what went wrong instead of recognizing the grace that carried us through. We may still have scars, regrets, and things we wish we could change. But those things don’t erase the fact that we’ve come a long way.
One of the things I’ve learned along the road is that God doesn’t always spare us from difficult chapters. Sometimes His grace is found in the simple fact that we’re still here, still moving forward, and still able to offer hope to someone else.
Perhaps that’s one reason God allows us to remember the roads we’ve traveled. Not so we can live in the past, but so that someday, when someone wonders how they made it this far, we can look at them and say:
“But you did make it. And your story isn’t over.”
The Road That Changed Me — A Reflection on Grace
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